Dance...

Dance "make[s] me want to be a better man..." to quote a line from "As Good As It Gets."

That's right, dance. Me, the guy with two left feet.

You know I consider myself a pretty atheletic guy. Most sports, I am decent at and can pick up on ones that I've never played before fairly quickly. Take tennis for example. I never played it before I got married. When Joanna and I moved into our first living place, an apartment (a.k.a. noisy neighbor land) we began to take advantage of the tennis courts. For the first few weeks, it was frustrating, but then I got the hang of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no Rodderick, but I can hang in there with average players.

Now dance is a whole different issue. All of a sudden, all the grace that I can show in basketball and footwork that comes from tennis, goes right out the window. Being a former drummer, you would think it would be easy for me to keep rhythm. Nope. Dancing is a struggle. I have to practice every step hundreds of times (it's more like learning an intricate instrument than a sport). There's so many different handholds, lead-ins, and steps...

But, it's a struggle I've come to enjoy. Yep, I said it... enjoy. I've been learning 5 basic dances: the Foxtrot, Jitterbug, Waltz, Triple Swing, and the Tango. Currently, my favorites are the Triple Swing and the Waltz, though the Tango is very cool to watch... I just haven't gotten the hang of it yet. And our instructor, Mr. Duncan keeps it fun and exciting.

Dancing is forcing me to become a better leader.

I'm a natural follower. But, "dance is like riding a bicycle. You have to turn the handlebars if you want to get anywhere other than straight in front of you. The bike does not know where you want to go. Like a bicycle, the woman has no brain" [my instructors words, not mine- please don't hate]. So, if I don't lead, the woman's not supposed to do anything, which gets to be boring. I have to push, or pull, or turn hands, or step in a certain direction- when my instinct is to let the woman (i.e. the person who knows how to do it better than me) lead. So, dancing is forcing me to get better at leading.

One specific area dealing with me becoming a better leader is confidence. In the past, when I've tried to dance, I have lacked confidence and this translates in body language and attitude into "I don't want to be here. Let's do this and get it over with." Through dance (& I'm still working on this) I've learned that even if you mess up, it's okay, keep going and most people won't notice, other than your partner. But, they're usually just happy to be dancing. Be confident in your moves, or the woman [and you] will just be confused and you might bump into each other, step on a toe, or cuss each other out (well, maybe not). But, you get the picture, dancing with confidence, even with mistakes becomes, easier, more enjoyable, and you get better. Let insecurity take over, and nothing is accomplished except a bad attitude.

This has carried over into the rest of my life. I've noticed lately that I've not been the best leader I can be in my job because of a lack of confidence in myself. I'm constantly second-guessing myself, wondering how I could do better. Wishing I were like other leaders is a favorite pasttime, as well as not doing some ideas because I wonder if they will fall flat on their face. But, seeing myself grow more confident in dance has encouraged me to work towards being more confident in other areas of my life.

Who would have thought that something used to dread is now changing me for the better? So, what's changing you for the better? Leave me a "comment" and let me know.

p.s. if anyone has a good way to write down dance steps, talk to me. that's one of the most confusing things to try and write down.